Dreaming Realistic Dreams

Two weeks from tomorrow I am running in the Chicago Marathon!  When I signed up back in April, it seemed so far away.  I had big dreams of qualifying for Boston.  Even if I hadn't gotten my job, qualifying would have been a long shot.  But now, with only running 2 or 3 days a week, sleeping 5 or 6 hours per night, eating crazy food and at crazy times. I think it might be impossible.  BUT I'm excited about running Chicago.  Just because I had a dream/goal of qualifying for Boston 2 years ago doesn't mean it was ever a real possibility.

It seems I get big ideas in my head - like when I was 21 and working for PriceWaterhouse and thought I could be a partner in a big accounting firm.  Never gonna happen.  Or what about when I started teaching and I thought I'd be this knock-socks-off-teacher to change my school.  Didn't happen.  

Now goals are good, don't get me wrong. And dreaming big is good, I'm a believer in aiming high.  But realism has to come in somewhere.  I didn't/don't have the mental capacity or personality to become an accounting big shot.  I'm not detail oriented enough nor do I have the training to be a phenomenal  teacher.  I can be a good teacher though, and I can run a good marathon.  And that is what I'm going to do.  I may not qualify for Boston, but I'm going to run a good race, enjoy myself and that is a great accomplishment for me.  I'm going to love and encourage my students and help them conquer 4th grade, and that is good enough for me.  

As far as the accounting goes, I can't even do my kids's taxes.  I should have changed my major as soon as I realized I didn't even enjoy the classes past Principles of Accounting.  I only enjoyed one day in my 2 years at PriceWaterhouse.  But it took me 20 years to change professions, and I still renew my CPA every year.  Some dreams are just hard to let go.

Dreaming of Chicago,

TVW

4 Hours to Think

What do you do when you are running for 4 hours?  The first hour I had people around me somewhat, and since it was dark, I had to concentrate on where I was going.  But after about mile 8 it was all sunshine and concrete.  I waited until about mile 7 to tun on my iPod, so music was a novelty for a few miles.  Plus songs remind me of times or people and that is good entertainment for a while.  If I have a song on my playlist that reminds me of you, you might just get my prayers for the duration of the song and beyond.

Last week I heard on old Newsboys song -" Breakfast".  For some reason it reminded me of my nephew. He liked it because it was a Christian song with the word "Hell" in it  - he was in middle school. Anyway right now  he isn't crazy about his job, so I spent a portion of a mile praying for him and his future.  My friend Kristin teaches dance, and she taught a dance at camp to our little girl campers to the song  "That's What MakesYou Beautiful. " Every time it comes on, I pray for her working at Disney World - away from home for the first time.  Even the Dobie Brothers "Listen to the Music" reminded me of my brother-in-law who has loved the Dobie Brothers since college. He is helping coach a high school volleyball team right now, so I prayed for him in his new part time profession.  "Daydream Believer" brings sweet memories of  Christmas when my sister Susan sang lead as my son Benjamin and I sang back up with the Monkees in our den.  They get prayers too.  Taylor Swift's "Best Day" reminds me of my daughter Jessica and a time we went to Dallas to watch a movie after she experienced being left out in elementary school. Praying for her in Boston.  Gotta get a song for Jim! 

Today I was also planning activities for my school class and my Bible study class.  My plate is so full right now, 4 hours to run, think, pray, and create is a luxury.  No grading, no cleaning, no cooking, just me and the outside.  It clears the mind. 

My watch did quit at mile 19.7 so i don't know my exact time or my splits.  If it does that during the marathon, I'm at a loss of what pace.  But I did 22 miles, and for that I can smile and relax.

Three weeks until Chicago,
TVW

Half Marathon at Boston Qualifying Pace

Today's race was unbelievable in 5 remarkable ways.

1. The weather was cool - in the 70's
2. My husband sacrificed his club bike ride to take and support me for the second race in less than 2 weeks - Team Weaver working over time
3. The course was beautiful - much was on trails through a park - my favorite.
4. I ran despite the lack of sleep and training in the last 3 weeks since I was hired.
5.  I was able to run at my marathon pace.I finished in 2:03:08!!!!!!!!!!!

I still cannot believe I was able to keep that pace for 13.1 mile.  My goal was 9:30  per mile, and when I looked at the times, each mile was just a little under - 9:26, 9:23. 9:24.  It was fairly consistent. One mile - 11 - was over 10 minutes.  I remember that subtle climb beside the highway and running into the wind.  And one mile - 12 - was considerable faster - 9:15.  I don't remember much about that mile. What really made the difference was I stuck to the plan.  All those . 04 and .03 seconds less that 9:30 worked to to bring my pace to 9:28 despite the 10 minute mile.

I had two hours to think about all this training and wondering  if it would pay off.  I have actually been working toward qualifying for Boston for a year and a half.  Things I realized about my self:

1. I like to dream big and start things, but I'm not good at follow through and ending well.
2. I think about quitting the closer I get to the end, and the harder it gets.
3. I am very task oriented and independent.  GIve me a goal and I will head toward it.  That is why I like running, I don't have to pass the ball to anyone or depend on someone to play defense for me.  I just have to run my pace.
4. I have  gotten better at this since I' ve gotten older.  How can I ever forget the college P.E /weight management class I dropped two weeks from the end of the semester because I was getting a B for not following the food plan. I've come a long way.

And finally, here are some observations of and lessons learned from goals

1. Goals are achieved one step at a time  and over time.
2. Some goals may not be achievable especially if you just pick them because they sound impressive.
3. Goals can be adjusted to be reasonable.

Can I qualify for Boston in a month at the Chicago Marathon?  Can I run this pace for 26.2 miles with more sleep and better training for the next 4 weeks? If I do qualify, how will I get off work in the middle of state testing? 

All I really know about goals and my race today is that is that my goals are only good and attainable if they are in God's will and by His power.  That is what happened today.  I asked my Father, the God of the universe, to help me keep that 9:30 pace.  He said , "Sure." Thank you Father. 

It's Gonna Cost You

My new job began at the tail end of my marathon training.  I mentioned the marathon to my principal as I was taking the job, and she passed it off as no big deal.  What is the big deal is finding time to continue my training during the week, and shortening the planned  extended trip due to work.  Tonight I found out just how much that change is gonna cost me - $484.  That is how much our nonrefundable tickets cost to change.  Now we will return on Tuesday instead of Thursday.  

However, I will make more than that in a week of work, I think, so the net change is much in the positive.  Jim is okay with not extending the vacation -that way he will have a few more days around the Christmas holidays.  So really it was not that big of a deal.

But, I so dreaded making the call and the change.  I think it stems back to a time I purchased theatre tickets -in London- for the same time we had booked a train ride - to Paris.  Ever since I get a little nervous making reservations.  

Check off one to do for the marathon trip.  

31 days away,
TVW

20 Miles - Physical and Mental Test

Today the schedule called for 20 miles and the forecast called for hot.  It was dark for the first 8 miles and no one at my pace was running 20 miles. 

But I was ready for 20 miles - as ready as you can be.  I bought new songs and made a new playlist on my ipod with all upbeat songs.  I ate a big lunch,small dinner on Friday, and pre run breakfast at 3 am Saturday .  I had 3 gu's , a bag of chomps, and my water bottle.

The first ten miles were good. Not great, not fast, but good.  Around mile 15 it got hard.  The sun was warming up the road, and there were less runners on the course.  I missed part of the route and had to improvise.  

But I just kept going.  I kept running even when it was so hard and I wanted to quit and walk, I kept running.  Even when I got back to the start and still needed 3 tenths of a mile to make it 20 , I kept running.  Even when everything hurt -feet legs, hips, back. There was not a dry area of my clothes, and I just kept running.  

That was the key.  I just kept running and praying, and did not stop.  Eventually my watch read 20 MILES.  That's when I stopped.  Run done. Mind stronger, body exhausted.

Running and Working

It is amazing the difference a full time job makes.  I can barely get home in the evenings before I have to be in bed.  Running is hard to fit in, especially with 95 degree weather.  Last week I ran only Sunday before and after I was hired.  Saturday was a 12 mile run and actually I think my legs enjoyed the rest.  I ran another 9 miles in a race on Monday.  My average pace was 9.33 ALMOST my 9.30 I have to run to qualify for Boston.  

But Chicago is less than 40 days away and right now I'm working 12 hour days.  I get up at 5 a.m. and am in bed by 10.  How have all my friends been doing this for years? Tonight my husband cooked dinner for me and I suddenly understand why he rarely offered to do the dishes after he had worked all day and I had not.

My perspective is so different. I have such admiration for people who work full time and do anything else.  I also have admiration for me 13 years ago when I started a new profession - full time, moved and had two children in elementary school.  How did I do it?  

All I know is that I'm too tired to even finish this post.

Catching some ZZZZZZZZ's
TVW